Taylor Swift - Never Grow Up - Music Video

This song came on the radio as I was helping Emma get ready to go to Young Women's for her first time tonight. That was ROUGH! And I had to run away and find something else to do for a minute so that she wouldn't have to see her silly old mom crying! She is so excited to be in Young Women's, she is excited for girl's camp and all the fun activities. She is so ready! But it has been hard for me to see her reach this age. I have been dreading it much more than I ever thought I would.

I've really been thinking about it and wondering why on earth it is so hard to think about letting go of my little Emma. I remember when I had my ultrasound with her and found out that she was a girl. The very first emotion I had was fear. I didn't want to put all my life into loving a little girl who might grow up to fight with me and be at odds. Nevertheless, she was born and instantly blessed my life. The first time she heard my voice, she turned her little head my way and looked me right in the eyes and I knew that she knew who I was and that she wanted to be here with our family. Since that time, I have found so much joy in loving this beautiful daughter of mine!

One of my favorite memories is watching her sleep in her fleecy pink jammies with her rosy cheeks and soft, yellow, chick fuzz hair. She is a peacemaker and a wonderful friend. We have had so much fun over the years planning birthday parties for her and going to the mall to look around and eat chocolates. I have loved buying girl clothes and helping her decorate her yellow room. I love seeing her determination when she really wants something and how hard she will work to get it. I love watching her mother her little sisters. She has always loved to cuddle up to me and holds on extra long when I give her goodnight hugs. She says 'Thank you'. She always says she loves the way I smell. Best of all, is knowing that to her, I am the best mom in the whole wide world. She has always looked up to me and really thought I could do no wrong.

I know as she grows, more and more of my faults will become apparent to her. There will be other women who will influence her and help shape her into the woman that she will become. I know that these things are good and necessary. I would never replace being around my grandma in the summers and playing her piano, or being inspired and taught the arts by my Humanities teacher in high school. I loved the homey feeling of my mom's friend Paula's house and learned to love butter on my tuna fish sandwiches there. I learned from a Young Women's leader how to pack brown sugar when measuring it. I was inspired to make my handwriting cute and neat by my Merry Miss teacher in primary and a friend in junior high. I loved eating Swedish food at my Aunt Gjordis's and have always loved the positive, happy attitude of my Aunt Karlene. As an adult, I love the conversations that I have with my Aunt Susan. All these things and more, along with the irreplaceable influence of my mom, have helped shape me into the woman I am, and I know through her experiences without me, Emma will be shaped in the same way, but oh my! it is going to be so hard to share!!!